Therapy with the Naruto characters
by marie1397
Summary: Let's face it, we know Naruto characters have problems, so it time for them to go to... Therapy! Yes, all the characters you know and love get some help with there... issues. R,R,& Enjoy
1. Rocklee's guest

Me: Alrighty, is everyone here

Naruto: Believe It!

Sakura: Yep

Sasuke: Hn

Itachi: Hm, your last sentence lacks words

Sasuke: SCREW YOU, YOU LACK DICK

Itachi: T.T, so insensitive

Me: o.O O-okay then...

Neji: Here

Rocklee: Present and Punksual

Tenten: Yep

Me: Yeah, everyone's here, alright,  
now to start the therapy, Rocklee, I  
brought someone special

Rocklee: GAI SENSIA!?

Me: Uh, no, I brought..., Magical Cat, drum  
roll please

.magical cat: Suredili dili dili

Me: ...Gaara!!

Rocklee: O-O WHAT! HES GONNA FIND  
OUT I...

Gaara: bust down door YOOOUU! YOU STOLE  
MY EYEBROWS!!

Everyone: o.O

Me: What...the...fiznuck

Rocklee: B- BUT GAARA, I NEEDED THEM T.T  
T-to look like, Gai Sensia, my eyebrows were  
to thin

Gai: T.T sniff Rocklee, what a great kid, come,  
let's run into the sunset gives thumbs up

Rocklee; sniff Alright Gai Sensia returns thumbs up

Me: :o Hey, no throwing up gang signs

Lee and Gai run into sunset

Me: ...where did the sunset come from,  
I thought it was evening, anyways, Gaara,  
why don't you take Rocklee's seat

Gaara: I, I don't know

gives him puppy dog's eyes

Gaara: O.O Please, I'll stay, just don't give  
me that face, it scares the shiznit out of me

(note:Im trying to stop my bad habit of swearing)

Me: Hey, yah know Gaara your my third favorite character

Gaara: :( Who's your first

Me: W-well um, twiddles thumb THE NEJSTER!!

Neji: The... Nejster

Me:Yeah, Nejster, is something wrong

Neji: ...everything about it is wrong

.magical cat: snickers Nejster

(note, the magical cat is in everything I write and  
is my prize possesion, I LOVE YOU MAGICAL CAT!!)

Gaara: I was outbeat by a guy who you call, the Nejster,  
Im dissapointed in myself

Me: Aw come on panda-kun, or should it be racoon-kun,  
let's take a vote

Sakura: Panda?

Naruto: He looks like a racoon

Sasuke: Racoon

Itachi: Pandas are cutier

Neji: Panda

Tenten: Racoon

.magical cat: Hmmm, racoon

Me: It's decided, your dubbed Racoon-kun

Gaara: ...God just kill me now...

Me: Ya know why I love racoons, there the  
animal kingdom's hobos, I mean think about  
it, they dig through the garbage, like a  
hobo, Im a hobo yah know

Sasuke: Then how did you write this story  
in the first place

Me: Ah, um, the... THE LIBRARY, yah the library,  
well go with that

Itachi: o.O Alright... I thought this was  
therapy

Me: O.O right, I forget alright for the next special  
guess is for the Nejster

Neji: -.- stop calling me that

Me: shut it Nejster, and your special guess is, drum roll  
please

.magical cat: dili dili dili dili

Me: Your dad

Neji: WHAT, YOU BROUGHT BACK MY DAD T.Tsniff Thankyou, so much

Me: I was just kidding, I couldn't do that, he's dead,  
rememberXD

Neji: I...Hate...You gets up and starts to leave

Me: NO NEJI, I'M SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU  
WOULD TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, PLEASE COME BACK, what if I did this,  
Secret look like a fricken bird jutsu puff of smoke Heh,  
Im a birdie

Neji: OH BIRDIE! I, um, sits back down you'll have to do alot  
to win my forgivness back -.-

Me: Alright sniff anyways, the special guest for you is Hinata

Hinata: H-h-h-h hi Neji

Me: Alright Hinata, take a set, first question is for you, Neji,  
why did you beat the crap out of Hinata at the chunin exams

Neji: Well first I hate the main branch, two, her dad is the reason  
mine is dead and three... hey wait, how do you know about that,  
you weren't even there

Me: Heh heh heh, reaches in pocket WABOW, THE NARUTO MANGA, BOOK  
EIGHT!!

Tosses Neji book

Me: Read it and weep Nejster

Everyone crowds around Neji

Naruto: Hey hey hey, there's my fight with Kiba, I totally beat his ass,  
heh heh heh

Michael Jackson and Orochimaru pops out of nowhere

Michael: Beat it

Orochimaru: Just beat it beat it

Michael: sniff Im so proud of you son, let's go find Guy and Rocklee and  
run with them into the sunset

Orochimaru: sniff only if we could molest Lee

Michael: Depends... how old is he

Orochimaru: thirteen

Michael: good enough, let's go

runs into sunset

Me: A-Am I the only one who just witnessed that

Everyone: Witnessed what

Me: Damn manga, distracting them, wow I feel bad for Rocklee

Neji: Oh alright here's are fight, heh heh, I look so cool

Me: mumbles to self Damn arrigant bastard, why yah gotta be so cute

Neji: Huh, did you say something

Me: O.O No, nothing, I didn't say nothing, anyways, see, you  
guys got your own Manga, television show and merchandise

Naruto: AWESOME, IM A STAR

Itachi: Hey, where the hell of a good butter am I

Me: Eh, you only appear a couple oh times, your more important  
character in the Shippuuden, but this should keep you busy

Tosses him book 17

Itachi: Heh heh, I bet the crap out of you Sasuke, Im so cool

Me: mumbles Damn you too Itachi, you cute arrigant bastard

.magical cat: What the hell, you just swore twice in the same  
sentence, I am utterly and shockingly dissapointed in you, time  
to go wash your mouth out

Me: NO, PLEASE NO, HEEELP, HEEEELP MEEEEE!!

Everyone is too interested in Manga to pay attention


	2. Neji's guest

Alrighy, here's chapter 2 of my story, Id personally like to thank the two people who reviewed my story.T.T, first two reviews iv'e gotten in my life, and I hope they continue reviewing,-wink wink-, well, here it is.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...yet, but one of these days and BAM!  
**

Where we left off on in the last chapter:

Me: shut it Nejster, and your special guess is, drum roll  
please

'.'magical cat: dili dili dili dili...

Me: Your dad

Neji: WHAT, YOU BROUGHT BACK MY DAD, T.Tsniff, Thankyou, so much

Me: : ), I was just kidding, I couldn't do that, he's dead,  
remember, XD

Neji: I...Hate...You -gets up and starts to leave-

Me: NO NEJI, I'M SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU  
WOULD TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, PLEASE COME BACK, what if I did this,  
Secret look like a fricken bird jutsu -puff of smoke- ' V ', Heh,  
Im a birdie

Neji: OH BIRDIE! I, um, sits back down you'll have to do alot  
to win my forgivness back ,-.-,

Me: Alright ,sniff, anyways, the special guest for you is Hinata

Hinata: H-h-h-h hi Neji

Me: Alright Hinata, take a set, first question is for you, Neji,  
why did you beat the crap out of Hinata at the chunin exams

Neji: Well first I hate the main branch, two, her dad is the reason  
mine is dead and three... hey wait, how do you know about that,  
you weren't even there

Me: Heh heh heh, -reaches in pocket- WABOW, THE NARUTO MANGA, BOOK  
NINE!!

Tosses Neji book

Me: Read it and weep Nejster

Everyone crowds around Neji

Naruto: Hey hey hey, there's my fight with Kiba, I totally beat his ass,  
heh heh heh

Michael Jackson and Orochimaru pops out of nowhere

Michael: Beat it

Orochimaru: Just beat it, beat it

Michael: sniff Im so proud of you son, let's go find Guy and Rocklee and  
run with them into the sunset

Orochimaru: sniff, only if we could molest Lee

Michael: Depends... how old is he

Orochimaru: thirteen

Michael: good enough, let's go

runs into sunset

Me: A-Am I the only one who just witnessed that

Everyone: Witnessed what

Me: Damn manga, distracting them, wow I feel bad for Rocklee

Neji: Oh alright here's are fight, heh heh, I look so cool

Me: -mumbles to self- Damn arrigont bastard, why yah gotta be so cute

Neji: Huh, did you say something

Me: O.O, No, nothing, I didn't say nothing, anyways, see, you  
guys got your own Manga, television show and merchandise

Naruto: AWESOME

Me: DAMN SKIPY, IT'S KICK-ASS AWESOME

'.'magical cat: What the hell, you just swore twice in the same  
sentence, I am utterly and shockingly dissapointed in you, time  
to go wash your mouth out

Me: NO, PLEASE NO, HEEELP, HEEEELP MEEEEE!!

Yay, that cover's chapter 2, I could of had that out sooo much sooner but my computer was being a dildo

Computer: -.-

Me: Yeah, I called you a dildo, you fourteen year old piece of crap, YOU SAY Y2K OK, WELL IT'S NOT OKAY

Hides in corner

Me:T.T, See ya next time when we meet Tenten's guest, review, see ya


	3. Tenten and Sasukes' guest

Ten Minutes Later

Hinata: What happened to you, we were worried

Me: walks back to seat mumbles nothing, just give me back my manga so it can go back to my collection

Sakura: You have a collection

Me: Yeah, what do you expect, I also got something else whispers in her ear

Me: I also got some hentai involving you and... Might Gai

Sakura: O.O, knocks out from the shock

Me: Gosh I was just kidding, I would barf if I saw that, jeez

Sasuke: What did you say to Sakura to make her K.O

Me: You don't wanna know, believe me

Naruto: Yeah, what did you say to her

Me: YOU WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH!! YOU CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!

Naruto: O.O okay, forget I even asked

Me: Good, on with the therapy, are next special guess is for Tenten

Tenten: Hmm, that's weird, wonder who it is

Me: Alright come out...Naked greased up deaf guy

(note: for the people who don't know, he's off Family Guy)

Tenten: What the fuck!! o.o

Naked Greased Up Deaf Guy: Hewwo Amewica, gowd to be bwack

(note: I know I spelled wrong, that's what he sounds like XD)

Tenten: Um, this is Japan, isn't it

Me: WRONG, This is my imagination

Everyone: O.O ...

Me: What, you think I could just magically appear in Japan, talk english yet you understand me, plus, if this wasn't my imagination, wouldn't Sasuke be trying to kill Itachi for his clan

Itachi: Shush whispers in my ear we drugged his drink, he doesn't remember

Sasuke: What, my clan, hey, wait a second.  
Me: UM, ON WITH THE NEXT GUESS!! Alright, this one is for you, Sasuke

Sasuke: Wonder who it could be

Me: Welllll, we originally had Orochimaru come for you, but earlier he ran off with his father Michael Jackson, so we have a replacement, come on in, Kabuto

Sasuke: What's that traitor doing here

Kabuto: glares at Sasuke Yooooou, you attempt to steal my precious Orochimaru for me, I saw the shippuuden episodes on veoh, you can't hide!!

grabs Sasuke by shirt

Hinata: Jerry, Jerry!!

Everyone: o.O

Me: Uh, Hinata, that's not like your usual self

Hinata: Fights always get me razzled up, ya damn magical cat, make some popcorn quick

.magical cat: Um, okay

Kabuto: Uh, i'll come back you later Sasuke

Sasuke: Y-yah, sure

Me: wow that was weird, well the next guest is...

* * *

Sweeee! There's chapter three. Yep, I have  
fun writing this story. Well that's all for now.  
Sorry I didn't update in so long, my... my... my  
computer broke down! Yeah, it broke down  
again.

Computer: You were just readin fanfictions and  
spending your none existing life on Gaia. Don't  
blame it on me bitch.

Me: OUUU, were a fiesty computer today are we?  
Well, do I look like a female dog to you?

Computer: Well actuall you d-

(covers speakers)

Me: SHHHH! Don't say anything! Well we had fun  
times, catch you next time, bye.


	4. Sakura and Naruto's guest

Hello, im back,  
I know you missed me,  
-crowd: Booooo- but im back.  
Well the one thing I hate the most  
is an uncomplete story so even though  
it only has 2 reviews im gonna finish it. Okay  
let's get it on!

* * *

Last Chapter

Hinata: Fights always get me razzled up, ya damn  
magical cat, make some popcorn quick

.magical cat: Um, okay

Kabuto: Uh, i'll come back you later Sasuke

Sasuke: Y-yah, sure

Me: wow that was weird, well the next guest is...  
--

Me: Ino

Sakura: NO, NOT INO PIG

Sasuke: Ugh, here we go

Ino: Eeeeek! Sasuke-kun, oh, hello Billboard brow

Sakura: Ino Pig

Me: Hey, if you ask me, your forehead is just about the same, and  
your weight to so, I think you need better insults

Ino/Sakura: NO ONE ASKED YOU!!

Me: -O.O- Okay okay, i'll stay out of this, hey, what happen to  
Racoon-kun and the Nejster, I haven't heard anything from them  
in at at least the last fifteen panels

Naruto: There over there in the corner of the room

looks over to corner of room

Me: Neji, Gaara, what are you doing

Gaara: Playing with are action figures

Me: Hey, where did you get those from

Neji: Heh heh heh, your room

Me: WHAT, YOU WENT IN MY ROOM, WELL WHAT ELSE DID YOU SEE

Neji: Some Itachi, Naruto, Kakashi, Gaara posters, and I found  
something in this black bag you have

Gaara: Yeah you creep, I saw h-

Me: covers Gaara's mouth shhh, don't tell the crowd, i'll be embarrased

Gaara: Okay okay, we won't tell, on one conditon

Neji: Heh heh heh

Me: -O.O- You guys are perverts, I couldn't do that

Gaara: God, I was just gonna make you retrieve my lost eyebrows, jeez

Me: Alright, have a seat you too, and Ino, let go of Sassy-kun and have a seat

Sasuke: Sassy-kun, that's worse then the Nejster

Neji: Believe me, it isn't

Me: Quiet Nejster, anyways, the next guess is for Naruto, it's your daddy

Naruto: WHAT, I HAVE A DAD!! TT I-IM SO OVERJOYED

Neji: She's just messing with you, like she did me

Me: Uh, no, I actually got his dad, heh heh heh

Neji: WHAT, SO YOU BROUGHT HIS DAD BACK FROM THE DIED  
AND NOT MINE

Me: I said Im sorry Nejster, never meant to hurt yOoOuUu,  
never meant to make you cry but tonight, i'm cleaning out  
my closet.

Neji:(O.o) Um... it's okay?

Me: Good! Anyways, let's introduce, his dad!

phone rings

Me: Yah, ah huh yep, really? Awesome! That's great, thanks  
for informing me

Naruto: Who was it

Me: It was the hospital, it seems your dad was mawled by  
a bunch of pissed off foxes, Ironic isn't it, ha ha ha

Sakura: that's the good news?

Naruto: That... that sucks

Neji: HA!!

Me: Oo Are, are you okay Neji

Neji: Yes im perfectly fine thank you very much

Me: Creepy... anyways the next guess is for...

(looks at list)

Me: Huh, that's all, that went quick

Itachi: :( hey, what about me

Me: : ) Well I was gonna bring you family, -- but their died

Sasuke: NOW I REMEMBER!

Me: Ah well that's the end people, catch us next  
time, bye!

* * *

Alrighty, that wraps up this little story.  
I honestly had fun writing this soo... I decided  
to make a part two n.n .

Man from Crowd: AH COME ON, WE JUST HAD TO SIT  
THROUGH THAT LOADA CRAP

You shut your dirty mouth before I staple it shut 8(

Man from Crowd: S-sorry

Anyways part two involves nick names, singing and much much  
more. Soo, -wink wink- Catch you next you at the sequal

Computer: Why don't you post a story worth while. Maybe Shattering  
or Abducted instead of this

Well computer im still working out the rough edges out on them before I  
post. I have to find a way to change it into a errie kind of feeling. OH MY  
GOD THERE GOES MY PET KITTY! She's coming towards me!

Starlight: : - \ -walks away towards food-

TT Starlight, why'd you walk away

Starlight: JUST WRAP UP THE FUCKING STORY!

Holy Shit. o.o W-Well it's t-time for me to go...  
-glances towards starlight-

Starlight: -crosses arms and taps paw in impatience-  
Go on, finish up

T.T Good by for now. Catchthesequel ;D


End file.
